Why Do They Hurt You?

                              

My Mom asked me to put her thoughts in my blog. So here I am. First of all, Thank You Mum.

                             

Here is something most of us must have heard before: 

      " A person who hurts you in any way is in great pain."        

               - [ Unknown]

HOW IS THIS TRUE?

Just take few minutes and answer this, Which emotion are you feeling right now? Positive or Negative?

Now if someone comes to you and say something which you don't like, how will you respond?

You would respond in a positive manner if your emotion is positive and in negative manner if your emotion is negative. This is so simple. Go and say something to an angry person, he/she would interpret your words into negative and go and say something to a happy person, he/she would find something good in your words. When you're happy, you would find positive things in your partner/ friend but when you just had a fight or you're angry or sad, you would find negative things in him/her. When we are kind to ourselves, we are kind to others.

So here is something to realise that when we are happy or peaceful FROM INSIDE, we see everything with the loving eye. We notice the beauty. But when we are sad or frustrated, we fail to see the beauty. Well, there is nothing wrong in feeling negative emotions because of course they're important. But the way we respond could be wrong and that's in our control how we respond to things. Now, if we're aware of the thing that why we unintentionally hurt people, we can now work on our responses. We can control ourselves. One of my friends says " When we are hurt, we hurt everybody" and this is so true.

" Wherever there is anger, there is always pain underneath." 

                     [ From the book " Living in High Morale"] 

EMPATHY 

Apparently, if this happens to you, it happens to others too. We all are same but our situations are different so we seem to be different. So, just choose empathy. When you're empathetic, you always tend to be kind. 

    " Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle"

                - Plato

Always try to see things from the other's point of view. Ask yourself, " What might be they feeling right now that they had to treat me this way?" . This is important and implying this will increase the love and understanding between you and that person. 

So, you just need to feel good and make other people feel good too.

Control your responses because you and only you are 100% responsible for what you are or what you feel. 

Things to remember when facing negative emotions:

1. If the emotions are due to a problem then start solving the problem now.

2. If that's not a problem, close your eyes, take three deep breathes, put your right hand on your heart and say three things you're truly grateful for.

3. If this is a memory from your past or some suppressed emotions, accept them and express them now. Either write them down or tell the person who made you feel this way. Make sure when you express you don't hurt the feelings of other person in anyway.

4. Share your feelings.

Just be kind and grateful. Because it matters.

And remember, it's okay if you have negative emotions. It's okay if you see everything in a negative way. What's not okay is to suppress the emotions inside you. Don't judge anyone including yourself. The one who loves self never judges oneself.

Thank You